Ode to Krispy Kreme « blog de umor

Ode to Krispy Kreme

februarie 13, 2008 at 01:45 | In Lupu, aberatii | 2 Comments

[For the philistines that read this, I'm talking about a brand of glazed doughnuts! Open your eyes, my brethren, and embrace the earthly presence of the holy communion in the shape of a torus.]

Oh, my Krispies, heavenly doughnuts,
Ambrosia of God, washed in the nectar of the sweet virgin,
Melt thy glaze to bless my impotent palate,
Let thy super caloric content transform me into a fatass,
For thus is God’s will!
Ohhh… Thou, God’s seventh day’s creation,
Most wondrous item of desire,
Fruit of a Eden’s tree that tempted even Adam and Eve,
Baked by angels in the perfect shape
Of a 2-dimensional manifold of genus 1, embedded in 3-dimensional space,
Perfectly symmetrical,
Make each of our days perfect together with a cup of coffee,
Let us indulge in thy, to the detriment of any normal eating habit that we might have had,
Make us lazy and fat, unable to talk to the opposite sex,
Because what is real love, if not the erection I get whenever I eat you after a long day at school in which I haven’t had the time to eat anything since morning, that day.

We should use another standard for the measure of economic development of a country, and that would be the presence of these slices of heaven in grocery stores.